If men got pregnant... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive through windows.
| QUESTION: Why is it so hard for
women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking? ANSWER: Because all those men already have boyfriends. |
 |
QUESTION: What do men and pantyhose have in common?
ANSWER: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch! |
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
| Q: What is the definition of nothing?
A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures....... his nose. |
| Q: What's the difference between government bonds and a typical
male?
A: At some points government bonds will mature. |
| Q: Why are men like trains?
A: They always stop before you get off. |
| Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted. |
| Q: What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
A: His wife is good at picking out clothes. |
| Q: What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
A: One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish. |
| Q: What is the only time a man will think about a candlelight dinner?
A: When the power goes off. |
| Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years. |
| Q: Why are gingerbread men the best men of all?
A: They are cute. They are sweet. and if they give you any lip, you can bite their heads off. |
| Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do better. |
| Q: Why do men like masturbation?
A: It's sex with someone they love. |
| Q: What is gross stupidity?
A: 144 men in one room. |
Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy exclaimed,
"how sad - a dead bird.
"The other man looked up and said, "where?"
Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover? He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Grow your own dope... plant a man!
| Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay. |
| Q: Why do men want to mary virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism. |
| Q: What do you have whan you have two little
balls in your hand?
A: A man's undivided attention. |
| Q: What do you call an intelligent man in
America?
A: A tourist. |
| Q: How do men sort their laundry?
A: "Fifthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". |
| Q: How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
A: Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove. |
| Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. |
| Q: Why does the stupid man put ice in his
condom?
A: To keep the swellin down. |
| Q: Why do they now have female astonauts?
A: So someone would have the sense to pull over and ask for directions when they get lost. |
| Q: How many divorced Men does it take to screw
in a light bulb?
A: Who knows they never get the house. |
| Q: Why did God create man?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. |
| Q: What is a man's view of safe sex?
A: A padded headboard. |
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
|
by Lori Katz, Barb Meyer, Barbara Meyer (Contributor)
|
Create your own Custom CD from more than 175,000 songs |
|
by Tim Allen
|
|
by Brendan Baber, Eric Spitznagel
|
|
by Bryan Johnston, Erik K. Johnston
|
|
by Hal Rubenstein, Jim Mullen (Contributor)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
