Blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink? romwell, pikobello

BLONDE  MEDICAL  DICTIONARY

Sorry dear, but I still couldn't understand what you're talking about.

 
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A
B
Anally -- occurring yearly 
Anti-Body -- against everyone 
Artery -- study of paintings 
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria 
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails 
Benign -- what you be after you be eight 
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U 
C
D
Caesarian section -- district in Rome 
Cardiology -- advanced study of poker playing 
Cat scan -- searching for kitty 
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog 
Coma -- a punctuation mark 
Congenital -- friendly 
D&C -- where Washington is 
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events 
Dilate -- to live long 
E
F
Enema -- not a friend  Fester -- quicker 
Fibula -- a small lie 
G
H
Genes -- blue denim slacks 
Genital -- non-Jewish 
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game 
Grippe -- suitcase 
Hangnail -- coat hook 
Hemorrhoid -- a male From outer space 
Herpes -- what women do in the Ladies Room 
Hormones -- what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid 
I
L
Impotent -- distinguished, well known 
Inpatient -- tired of waiting 
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee 
Labour pain -- got hurt at work 
M
N
Medical staff -- doctor's cane 
Minor Operation -- coal digging 
Morbid -- higher offer 
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate 
Node -- was aware of 
O
P
Outpatient -- person who had fainted  Pap smear -- fatherhood test 
Paralyze -- Two far-fetched stories 
Paramedics -- Twin medicos 
Pharmacist -- person who makes a living dealing in agriculture 
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis 
Post operative -- letter carrier 
Protein -- favoring young people 
R
S
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em 
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery 
Rheumatic -- amorous 
Saline -- where you go on your boyfriend's boat 
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf 
Secretion -- hiding anything 
Seizure -- Roman emperor 
Serology -- study of knighthood 
Staff -- a doctor's cane 
T
U
Terminal illness -- sickness at airport 
Tibia -- country in North Africa 
Tumor -- an extra pair 
Urine -- opposite of you're out
V
Varicose -- located nearby 
Vein -- conceited 

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WHO SAYS A BLONDE IS STUPID? 
**
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.  When she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", she turned around and went home.  She told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk". 
When the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the "Any" key.  She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.  If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change. 
She tried to drown her goldfish. She sat on the TV and watched the couch.  If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. 
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.  She studied for a blood test and failed.  At the bottom of application forms where it says "Sign Here", she puts "Sagittarius". 
She sold the car for gas money. She thought Hamburger Helper came with another person.  She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill. 
When she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.  When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.  She ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's and said, "Hold the cheese". 
She got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.  She looks up to see dead bird. When she got to the empty 4-way stop, she waited for the other 3 cars to get there. 
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead.  Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her.  The blonde says,

"Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"


 

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