BLONDE JOKES - Blonde Medical Dictionary - When blonde got to the empty 4-way stop, she waited for the other 3 cars to get there.

Blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink? romwell, pikobello

BLONDE MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Sorry dear, but I still couldn't understand what you're talking about.

A		B
Anally -- occurring yearly Anti-Body -- against everyone Artery -- study of paintings		Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails Benign -- what you be after you be eight Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U

C		D
Caesarian section -- district in Rome Cardiology -- advanced study of poker playing Cat scan -- searching for kitty Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her Colic -- sheep dog Coma -- a punctuation mark Congenital -- friendly		D&C -- where Washington is Diarrhea -- journal of daily events Dilate -- to live long

E		F
Enema -- not a friend		Fester -- quicker Fibula -- a small lie

G		H
Genes -- blue denim slacks Genital -- non-Jewish G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game Grippe -- suitcase		Hangnail -- coat hook Hemorrhoid -- a male From outer space Herpes -- what women do in the Ladies Room Hormones -- what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid

I		L
Impotent -- distinguished, well known Inpatient -- tired of waiting Intense pain -- torture in a teepee		Labour pain -- got hurt at work

M		N
Medical staff -- doctor's cane Minor Operation -- coal digging Morbid -- higher offer		Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate Node -- was aware of

O		P
Outpatient -- person who had fainted		Pap smear -- fatherhood test Paralyze -- Two far-fetched stories Paramedics -- Twin medicos Pharmacist -- person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis Post operative -- letter carrier Protein -- favoring young people

R		S
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em Recovery room -- place to do upholstery Rheumatic -- amorous		Saline -- where you go on your boyfriend's boat Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf Secretion -- hiding anything Seizure -- Roman emperor Serology -- study of knighthood Staff -- a doctor's cane

T		U
Terminal illness -- sickness at airport Tibia -- country in North Africa Tumor -- an extra pair		Urine -- opposite of you're out

V
Varicose -- located nearby Vein -- conceited

WHO SAYS A BLONDE IS STUPID?

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.	When she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", she turned around and went home.	She told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".

When the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the "Any" key.	She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.	If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.

She tried to drown her goldfish.	She sat on the TV and watched the couch.	If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.	She studied for a blood test and failed.	At the bottom of application forms where it says "Sign Here", she puts "Sagittarius".

She sold the car for gas money.	She thought Hamburger Helper came with another person.	She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

When she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.	When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.	She ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's and said, "Hold the cheese".

She got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.	She looks up to see dead bird.	When she got to the empty 4-way stop, she waited for the other 3 cars to get there.

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,

"Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"

Jackie 'the Joke Man' Martling's Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book
by Jackie Martling

They're all here!, the hooker, the drunk, the proctologist, the little old lady, the midget, the traveling salesman, the black guy, the Jewish mother, dirty Johnny, the redneck, Helen Keller, the Polish girl, the Chinese couple, the two lesbians, the priest, the horny divorceé, Confucious, the rabbi, Schmidlap... Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling knows them all and more. Here are the gems from the private files of the head writer and cast member of The Howard Stern Show -- the man infamous for knowing every joke there ever was. In comedy clubs from coast to coast, Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling has dared audiences to start a joke he couldn't finish.

Blanche Knott's Book of Truly Tasteless Anatomy Jokes (Truly Tasteless Jokes, Vol 1)
by Blanche Knott, Blanche Knotts

Introducing an all-new line of fast-selling tastelessness from the five-million-copy Queen of Crass,
Blanche Knott. Tastelessness is ever popular, especially among the young, students, novelty buyers,
gift-givers, and pranksters. Packaged in the same eye-catching format as all Blanche Knott's other
bestsellers, this new volume will be snapped up by legions of Knott's fans.

Creme De LA Femme : A Collection of the Best Contemporary Women Writers, Lyricists, Playwrights and Cartoonists
by Anne Safran Dalin, Nancy Davis (Editors), Anna Quindlen (Contributor)

Ever hear yourself laughing in a movie theater when no one else finds the line even remotely funny?
Creme de la Femme, a compendium of cynical, light-hearted, or downright birdbrained doggerel, riffs, essays, and stories, proves once again that humor is idiosyncratic. Contributors invited to flex their comic muscles include American politicos and writers Gloria Steinem and Anna Quindlen, comedian Joan Rivers, and cartoonists Roz Chast and Lynda Barry.

Deadlier Than the Male : Dangerously Witty Quotations by Women About Men
by Michelle Lovric (Compiler)

Filled with acidly witty comments on everything from men's bodies to their role in society, Deadlier Than the Male firmly puts to rest any notion that women are the gentle sex. This is a delicious and decorative new look at the battle of the sexes-from the winner's point of view.

Frankly, My Dear : More Than 650 of the Funniest, Smartest, Gutsiest, Nastiest, Sexiest, and Simply Greatest Quotes in Celebration of Women in the Mo
by Jeff Bloch (Designer)

Frankly, My Dear is, frankly, a celebration of women in their most memorable movie
moments--featuring more than 650 of the funniest, smartest, gutsiest, nastiest, sexiest and simply greatest quotes by, or about, women in film, and packed with photographs.

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